Saturday Night Thoughts

I went to a pretty weird church tonight.

Well, I use the term "weird" pretty loosely. This particular church was an Iglesia Ni Cristo (Church of Christ). I had never been to one of these but a friend from work invited me. I'm pretty solid in terms of what I believe already so I figured hey what's the harm?

It turned out to be quite the night.

I knew something was amiss immediately as I looked at the sanctuary. Everyone was solemnly facing forward. It was almost funeral like...sans a coffin in the front. Then I observed the curious way that guys were sitting on one side of the room and girls were sitting on the other. Then there was the fact that all of the staff was wearing different flavors of green. "Fred, don't judge a book by its cover." I thought as I politely found my seat.

We sang songs that I didn't know to begin with. The man next to me was delightful to say the least. As he sang with all of his heart, I couldn't help but notice him pronouncing the words in trademark taglish (that's tagalog-engligh I should say). His accent was incredibly joyous and I'm sure God soaked it all in. We prayed at the culmination of the singing session with which, ever so often, the congregation would unanimously respond by saying "yes, Father." Different...but still cool.

Eventually the speaking portion of the evening arrived. I notice immediately that the reverend neither introduced himself nor was introduced by a fellow member. He must be humble not to do that. But then the meat of the night was rather interesting (in a bad way).
The topic at hand was how to determine whether or not someone was a Christian and specifically how to obey God so that one can be prepared for the end times. Normally, I'm not that intimidated by eschatology, and this night proved no different. However, the more and more that the reverend started teaching, the less and less I agreed with him. Specifically there are three things that stood out as key misunderstandings.

1) They believe that the Trinity is man-made fabrication and that there is only one God (the Father). Specifically, the belief is that Jesus was nothing more than a sent man from God.

2) They believe that one cannot enter heaven through faith alone.

3) One specific statement that really got under my skin was that "if we are disobedient to God, we are the equivalent of trash to Him."


I was actually glad I went tonight. I think it's incredibly important for everyone to be challenged in what they believe. And, from a Christian perspective, if someone is talking about the bible, to be able to talk bible straight back to them and defend WHY it is you believe what you do. Although I didn't delve into much theological banter tonight, I left even more thankful for Jesus. And, while others may have disagreed with me, they knew I was solid where I stood. And it was great.

Oh, and not to mention several very attractive people in the room. d(^_^)b

Response?

I'm in a different place compared to where I was last time.

That day actually ended up pretty well. My peace came down to this: The appropriate response to everything that happens in life is worship.


It's pretty challenging and gratifying all at the same time.

footprint

Although I should be working right now, I have chosen to take time out to write here.

There has been a lot going on through my head. Often times I would want to write and write and write but I simply haven't. Naturally, there has developed a build up of colliding processes and random tangents that it's been particularly difficult to manage.

I feel like my life has compacted on me pretty badly. I used to be so quick to reflect. So eager to pause and consider. But now I'm finding that I just kind of let whatever happens happen.

This is unlike me. This vicarious "live and let live" mentality. Purpose is an incredible thing to have guide you through life. Yet, with it firmly to my side, I've been almost whimsical in using said tool. Tragic.

All in all I don't know what I'm going through. Spiritually, I'm still finding time to read my bible and pray regularly, but it feels like a "going through the motions" kind of lifestyle. Something is definitely off.

I wonder where my faith has gone. I used to have such confidence that God was HUGE. Now He's just (theoretically) big.

It's probably a culmination of a variety of different decisions and ends. Relationships that have gone awry, potential that has quickly faded, expectations that were never met, and this innate feeling of disappointment from other people counting on me.

Whatever.

Sunday Night Thoughts

11 days and I'm finally able to write on this thing again.

There's been a lot of my mind. A lot of things yet to come. And a lot of things that have already happened.

Lately, I've been reflecting on the past year. Simply trying to learn from my journey and apply beneficial principals moving forward. One concept I've found particularly noteworthy was that of judgment.

It's nothing new really. After all, I have thought and re-thought this same virtue over and over again. But, it doesn't necessarily have to be new in order for it to be something valuable. In this case, I have discovered that just hearing something again has been really refreshing.

This surfaced recently this year. I was on the phone, as I find myself doing from time to time, and started conversing. Eventually, dialogue shifted to a lot of stuff regarding "the drama" (this person is well aware of a lot of the stuff that happened). Essentially they summarized that perhaps I should reconsider my whole stance about how God was working in my heart because if that were the case, according to them, I would be a lot different by now.

I've never seen my anger fuse light faster than it did at that moment.

I don't know what happened, but them saying that infuriated me on a whole new level. I've never felt so judged in my life. They, in a span of just 5 minutes, tried to encapsulate my entire year just by making a few observations based on how I was acting at that moment. However I ended up pretty thankful because it surfaced many things.

1) There was plenty of truth to what they said. Not because their assertion was right in any way at all (I have been making progress mind you). But because if I were truly at peace with everything, I would never have been so easily angered over nothing at all. Hmph.

2) I am guilty of judging just as much as they are. They made assertions and premature conclusions about me; but I never considered that I do the exact same thing to them when I pretend to know exactly where they are in terms of their own process. Sure, it's likely that they are probably completely different place than me...but that doesn't mean that I know it all.

3) I have no right to point a finger at all. Not when there are so many that can be pointed back at me FIRST.




Humility again God? Haven't you taught me this before?

You are hilarious.

Who..me?

I'm not dead I promise.

I just can't portion my time properly. Lots of little life updates. Lots of big ones too.

But I want to be able to think them through.

With the quickness.



It'll just have to wait...for now.