Friday Afternoon Thoughts

I don't get it at all.

Here I am as excited as anything about our day together. It was supposed to be splendid. The goal was to meet up early so that we can begin "study day." Then we would go our separate ways to go fulfill our various commitments.

But, as things often do in my world, events didn't naturally transpire the way that I envisioned them to in my head.

In my anxious state, I woke up bright and early this morning to start my journey to the local library. I thought I would be thoughtful and grab a nice little bite for my friend (oh, yes I'm talking about Kristy) since it was likely hunger would surface at some point during the day.

As I'm sitting and eating my breakfast, she calls. She had clearly just woken up and had spent all last night making music. I thought that was really cool. But it dawned upon me that she probably wouldn't even be in the atlanta area for another 2 hours. "It's cool. I'll just roll with it." became the sentiment.

Somewhere along the way in the 4 hours I was studying myself (which was brutal btw), I started to consider the fact that perhaps I was more enthralled about our day than she was. She finally arrived and let me know that she got carried away playing with her niece and nephew.



This is all to say that, for the 4 hours we've been studying now, it's slowly starting to dawn on me that it's likely that I'm putting more into the friendship than she is. Today in particular she seems very easily irritable. Like she was simply hanging out with me to fulfill some obligatory need.

But who wants a friend like that?

Oh well. I suppose I'll do what I always do and just keep serving her the best that I can. A lot of my friends have said that I'm wasting my time...but I truly digress. I'm not going about hopelessly praying for some change in direction or something; but I have peace knowing that all of the investment that I'm making will stand distinguished forever and ever. If, for one fortuitous reason, God is able to plant a seed in her life through me then it will all be worth it.

I just wish I didn't like her so bad -_-