relationships take work

I had the pleasure recently of reconnecting with a dear friend of mine.

It has been a long time coming, as our last meaningful conversation had not occurred in quite some time. Yet, last week, conversations finally happened and all the gunk that had been built up inside surfaced for examination. It was thrilling yet frightening.

The moment was awkward at first actually. They had been waiting for quite some time and I was soaking wet (fresh from my game of basketball where yours truly was displaying jordan-esque skills). Then, when I was able to freshen up, we were able to finally get to things.

Small talk.
Then pointed small talk.
Then deep talk.
Then hard conversation talk.
Then relieved talk because we finally were able to start understanding one another.
Then where do we go from here talk.
Then happy talk.
Then joyful reconciliation talk.

While that summary was quite poignant, it should be noted that the duration of that dialogue took more than 2 years. That's 730+ days of tears, doubt, and anger among other emotions. And frankly, I had given up on the idea that any reconciliation would occur in the first place.

But, as I discovered, there was urgency on the other person's heart just as much as it was on mine. Which is why I have come to conclude that relationships take work. This is true of all relationships (whether platonic, romantic, or otherwise). Both parties must have some desire to benefit the other partner otherwise the relationship becomes unhealthy (and ultimately, perhaps, broken). But when both are working at it, the momentum leads to a better place. It doesn't always end up as a happy ending, but it does end up getting you somewhere.

And the best friendships get you to a place where you couldn't go yourself.