relationship building 201

One things that everyone has to come to terms with is that other people in their life (whether closely held or otherwise) will fault them.

That is, sooner or later every other person you're in a relationship with (platonic or romantic) will do something wrong to you. This is not to imply that every wrong will be devastating. Sometimes it will be simply not washing the dishes for the husband. Other times it will be making a commitment to go eat ice cream and not following through on it. All said, it's no real big deal.

Obviously, there are the wrongs that are a little bit more severe. The aforementioned husband may suddenly choose to fornicate with another woman. One's best friend perhaps may speak the sharpest words in the heat of emotion and suddenly cause irreparable damage to the once pristine relationship. Et cetera.

The remedy in any fault of a relationship is dependent entirely on how much one looks out for the OTHER person's best interest and not their own.

Dishes will always be washed when the wife considers just how much of a difference doing something small like that makes to her OCD husband after a long day at work.
Spending 30 minutes to eat ice cream with a friend is no longer troublesome when one takes into account that your presence alone means the world to the other friend (and the rest is just a cherry on top) [pun intended].
Infidelity no longer seems worth it when viewed in context of the lifelong trauma it inflicts upon the daughter who has to be raised by the (newly turned) alcoholic mother who no longer has any interest raising a functional family.
Bitter tongues suddenly learn to tame themselves when suddenly there comes discovery that with losing a friend comes relentless heartache of remorse and guilt from a moment's foolishness.
While these examples are pretty elementary, there are a number of ways I have come to benefit from this mindset at all times.

A very peculiar relationship of mine (we'll just call this one special K for now) always stretches the bounds of this principle. Recently we made plans to spend the whole day together to catch up with each other to simple enjoy each other's company. Said day arrived and she ends up sleeping until late in the evening. Frustrated, I chose to pursue my own interests the rest of the night. She called repeatedly only to receive voicemail greeting after voicemail greeting.

Communication resumed eventually. She expressed she was sorry and accidentally slept throughout the entire day (jet lag you know?) but she was very upset that I didn't return her phone calls. I expressed that I was extremely frustrated with her (she had done this exact same thing to me now on multiple occasions) and did not have the emotional resolve to speak with her at that moment. We were both over it, but she was relentless in highlighting the fact that I could've done a much better job at least responding via text/phone call once I had cooled off.

She was right.

My frustration was justified, but future frustration could've easily been avoided had I simply communicated with her. She had a right to be upset with my stoic front, but had she kept in mind just how precious our day would have been for me in general, she wouldn't have had greater incentive to wake up.

And this awful feeling of our relationship disintegrating wouldn't be a reality.