losing can be winning

One thing that I'm really happy about is the truly competitive drive that has been instilled into me.

I absolutely cannot stand losing.
At all.

Since picking up on this whole tennis thing, my competitive attitude has transferred to the tennis courts as well. My overall win-loss record is very high. I think I've maybe lost 4 matches total (2 from doubles and 2 from singles).

Tonight was another tally for the loss column.

I was frustrated and angry. You see I was forced to retire from the match because I ended up cramping in the middle of the game. It was as if any opportunity I had was just taken from me. Hours after the match it's what I kept thinking about. And now, several hours still later, it continues to haunt me.

But why?

The only solace I can think of is the fact that there's still so much I have left to learn about being humble. Not once this season did I thank God immediately after the match for a win (I had been undefeated until tonight). In fact, the thought didn't even come to me that he had kept me injury free for basically 2 years up to tonight.

That said, I don't think God is like some sort of scientific formula in that He's punishing me for not choosing to thank Him or whatever. But, I do think that it's an encouraging sign to realize that instead of just sulking and accomplishing nothing, I can choose to focus on everything that I do have (instead of the win that I don't have). These things, just recently, include the following:

- a new job at Radiant.
- a new car that's really nice.
- a new computer.
- a newer playstation 3.
- a new digital camera SLR.
- a new pair of season tickets for the falcons.
- a new stringing machine.
- a new tennis racquet.
- a new radio for my car.
- lots of new clothes.
-probably more that I'm not thinking about.

Putting this in context of my loss, all I have left to say is that it reinforces a principle I've already learned. When it comes to adversity, the response to the stimulant is everything. I still can't stand that I lost, but it's not going to be something that I will allow to slow me down.

I guess counting your blessings really does help shape your perspective.