Prayer Time Pt. 2

Honestly, I'm a little confused as to how to answer the question of "what does prayer look like?" Further, I'm not even sure I know anything about anything. When thinking about my response to my question, I immediately thought of Jesus' prayer in the book of Matthew, but realized I wouldn't be able to explore that sufficiently. Then I thought about simply redirecting the attention to those who can explain better than me (Louie Giglio - Prayer: Remix). Yet, I still found that to be more of a cop out than anything else. So, I'm simply going to break it down the way I think is most uncomfortable--by exploring it myself.

I've always thought that prayer was something to do because it was "holy." We always prayed at my house before meals because it was proper. We always prayed in the morning and at night because it was appropriate. However, this actually led to guilt and shame for me. When I was at school, and didn't have my spiritual giant grandfather stewarding me through life, I quickly forgot to pray. In fact, there would be rounds where I'd be in front of people but choose not to pray simply because I was embarassed that I'd be the only one doing it. I didn't pray in the morning and at night because, well, it wasn't important to me.

Anyway, fast forward to me post relationship with Christ. I've discovered, just comparing and contrasting my experiences, that there's this profound peace when you lock onto God in prayer. Something about being able to bring all aspects of the small whisper we call life to Him, and then knowing that He hears you, reverberates deeply within. My prayers have not always had the answers I've been looking for. Often times, the answers to my prayers have been "wait." Yet the thing is, I've found the most peace by being completely honest with God and then saying nothing more. I don't have to smother God with religious jargon. I don't have to pretend like I understand everything. I can scream out "it hurts" and not say a word and it will be the most amazing experience just knowing I'm heard. Most profound, perhaps, is when you just sit there in silence, and exit the conversation filled with a sense of peace. It's difficult to explain.

So, to answer the question originally proposed, I guess I don't know what prayer looks like either. I know that all the images aforementioned are usually linked to prayer, but I guess I just had a bone to pick with how sadly limited the view of prayer was. I don't know.

It stems simply from praying for Glorie. I've never prayed for anything so seriously in my life. Perhaps God needed to teach me this lesson through the most excruciating of methods possible. Perhaps not. Nonetheless, I have a newfound respect for this conversation we're allowed.

Prayer Time

Google the word prayer. Click on the images link. 95% of the images you'll find depict some person who looks like their trying with all their might to concentrate on something. Their hands will usually be locked in a mystifying position that would usually serve no other purpose. Almost always, that person's eyes will be closed.
Some of the images even have artistic lighting! The dramatic rays of sun appear to have a profound effect on the person praying. As if to say, "this person is praying so well that even the sun is taking notice." Yet this is what perplexes me the most.

Don't get me wrong. I love praying. I think it's powerful and tranquil. Yet is this the image of prayer? Why not a simple smile? Why not tears? Laughter? What about an empty room with no dramatic sun?

Having faith in Christ has allowed me to understand some of the images that I see on Google. Often times the closed eyes and concentration are to better focus on the God that the prayer is to. The hands, for one reason or another, also help in this regard. The bowing can usually be linked to a reflection of the soul at that time. As if the body is involuntarily saying, "I'm small. You're big. Who am I to stand up to you?"

All of these things are good things. However, I believe that it's of critical importance for everyone (Jesus follower or not), to understand that praying is not merely the presenting of a laundry lists of desires to God. If that were the sad truth, then I may as well worship Santa Clause as the pinnacle treasure in my life.

Rather, I believe it's of paramount importance to truly understand (and view) prayer as an invitation; God allowing us to have a really awesome conversation. Note that one of the requirements for a conversation is two-way communication. Not just, "Here Jesus! You are awesome and by the way it'd be great if you gave me this, this, and that." I believe that there needs to be an allowance for the soul to repreive. To receive whatever it is Christ wants us to receive at that moment in time--even if that means receiving nothing at all.

So, how then do we pray? What does "real" prayer look like?


To be continued... :)

On

I've officially turned on my emo switch.

Go Braves?

There I was...one among the 45,000 in attendance.

The energy was unreal. Everyone doing the tomahawk chop in unison with the unmistakable beating of the drum. Voices amplified as everyone collectively tried to will the Braves to a victory.

Francoeur scored on an error. The crowd erupted in an even more intense shout.

I joined.

Then I realized...when's the last time I screamed for Jesus this loudly?

Blah

I'm reading C.S. Lewis right now. I wanted to read some of his more famous stuff (i.e. Mere Christianity, Screwtape Letters, Narnia, etc.), yet I was drawn to one of his other books--Grief Observed. It's a personal journal that he wrote after his wife died. I thought that, although I have no such wife (nor is anyone dead for that matter), I may be able to find something worth contemplating in the book.

Anyway, I'm almost done with chapter one and have already found much to reflect upon. For example, Lewis mulls over the thought that sometimes God chooses to stay silent. When we prosper and are savoring the joy of life at the most high of times, God seems to shout most loudly at us; reminding us that we are dependant on Him. Other times, Lewis says, when we reside temporarily in empty misery, no matter how hard we kick and scream God says nothing at all. He says that the pinnacle example of this is when Jesus cried out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" implying the perplexing decision for God to stay silent during times of most critical need.

Personally, having experienced both sides of life, I've found that I can identify with Clive very well. However, again much like Lewis, I've found that experiencing both of these journeys has never led to a wavering of my faith. If anything, it has only aroused a bigger curiousity as to why God chooses to make the decisions that He does.

Still, I can't quite explain it. God does what He wants because...well...simply cause He can. That may not satisfy some people, but that's ok. If you truly sit down and analyze it, if God is truly what He's supposed to be, then it's certainly not out of the question for Him to make decisions just cause He can. Personally, I take solace in the fact that although Jesus is the most mysterious person I've ever met in my life, He allows me insight into His character. Through the Word, I'm able to identify stable, unchanging nuggets of His character, and hold desperately onto those truths in joy and in pain.

Thus I find myself in my current situation.

Anxious but grateful.

Faithless yet faithful.

Smiling in spite of pain.



most proudly...confident in my uncertainty.

Life

Well, for anyone who doesn't know, I've compiled a short list of things everyone who should know.

1) God is hilarious. Ex: Santos Family

2) School is bleh (and supposedly is missed when you get out of it).

3) True friends are a treasure. Cherish them and let them know.

4) Light > Darkness.

5) Even though your labor is comparable to that of a slave, WDW is a place that is dearly missed once you stop working there.

6) Michael Vick is an idiot.

7) Kindness is truly hard to find. Be kind to someone and don't expect anything in return. You'll rave in the assortment of responses that you'll receive.

8) Without faith, life is impossible.

9) Waffle House food will probably be served in heaven.

10) Get excited!

My conundrum

I find this summer school thing to be an extremely obnoxious obstacle in my life.

At the same time, I'm aware that a college education is a precious commodity that will prove invaluable in the long run.

Yet, I cannot find the necessary motivation to have any inkling of motivation toward school. I just want to be in Florida right now.

Nevertheless, my life mission is to be Distinguished. Perhaps this will be a learning experience when it's said and done.

Thinking...

I wonder what I'll be in the future. It's weird when you think about it.

Just take the past 5 years. Looking back, I can't even imagine the shock if I could tell me 17 year old self all that he would be experiencing. He would be meeting an amazing woman named Glorie soon. She would change his life. He would also be meeting an even more amazing person named Jesus. He would change his life even greater. He would end up graduating high school and never change his study habits despite all the naysayers. He would end up working at the Walt Disney World resort and again be completely blown away. The list goes on.

So, I wonder what's in store next you know? Get excited.

feeling...

down.

It came out of nowhere.

continuing with the theme...

This avatar completely fails to encaptulate the fabulousness that is Fred Godoy.

d(^_^)b

100th post!

This marks my 100th post. So instead of writing something profoundly idiotic or incredibly funny, I've decided to let a picture do all the talking.







Oh yeah. I went there.

Life Interrupted

So I've decided to stop being cryptic and start writing about regular stuff for once.

Glorie, a wonderful woman whom I've mentioned several times in this small blog of mine, has recently been involved in an accident. Upon hearing this news, it felt like my life shattered. She had been such an impactful person in my life and I truly can't think of a person I care about more in thie life.

Yet, I've been prepared all this time. When Glow and I broke up, I feel like, in one way or another, God was able to show me that even if He took Glorie away from me, that I would still have Christ. Frankly, it was only at this time that I began to experience how complete and satisfying it is to realize that I was loved. Truly loved.

Enter last week. See it's normal nowadays to hear about accidents or to pass one by on the street. However it's disturbingly different when someone you care about so deeply be involved in one personally. My life was on an upswing. I was somewhat enjoying school, completely enjoying the future possibilities of possibly having leadership roles at my church, and things between Glow and I were getting pure again (mainly cause she was also growing so tremendously in the Lord). Then this interruption happened.

Captivated by the brevity of life, I realized that it was time. Either I put to practice all the idealistic virtues I had been reading about all this time, or sulk for the next few weeks expecting people to have pity on me. Gladly, I chose the former; it has made all the difference.

Listen to me

In light of everything that has happened to me this week, there are two things that could not scream any louder to be true.

1) When calamity arrives (and it will arrive at one point or another), all you will have to lean upon is your faith and your trust. I have had the invaluable opportunity to lean on Christ during my present distress. Having assurance that things are out of my hand and in the hands of a much wiser and more powerful Person has given me comfort beyond understanding.

If, however, you don't have the same rock to stand on, or simply don't believe for that matter, then I hope that whatever you are holding onto is worth having faith in. Humans are delicate, fragile masterpieces. When the foundation gets shaken violently, whatever it is that we cling onto with our small fingers must be something worth holding onto. For that's the very thing. We hold on simply by faith; trusting that it will get better.

2) Secondly, and perhaps of equal importance, is my urgent message for anyone who happens to come across this writing.

Make sure everyone you love knows that you love them. It sounds rather cliche, but the truth sometimes reveals itself in ordinary ways. Do whatever it takes. Carve the time out of your busy schedule and find ways to pick up that phone or drive that extra 15 mins to love those who are important to you. This whisper that we call life can be required of us at any moment in time. Such brevity must be maximized. Love abundantly! Your chance to impact someone else's life is not guaranteed. Ensure yourself the favor of making every moment count. Otherwise, you will swim in the endless ocean of regret when it's too late.