Prayer Time Pt. 2

Honestly, I'm a little confused as to how to answer the question of "what does prayer look like?" Further, I'm not even sure I know anything about anything. When thinking about my response to my question, I immediately thought of Jesus' prayer in the book of Matthew, but realized I wouldn't be able to explore that sufficiently. Then I thought about simply redirecting the attention to those who can explain better than me (Louie Giglio - Prayer: Remix). Yet, I still found that to be more of a cop out than anything else. So, I'm simply going to break it down the way I think is most uncomfortable--by exploring it myself.

I've always thought that prayer was something to do because it was "holy." We always prayed at my house before meals because it was proper. We always prayed in the morning and at night because it was appropriate. However, this actually led to guilt and shame for me. When I was at school, and didn't have my spiritual giant grandfather stewarding me through life, I quickly forgot to pray. In fact, there would be rounds where I'd be in front of people but choose not to pray simply because I was embarassed that I'd be the only one doing it. I didn't pray in the morning and at night because, well, it wasn't important to me.

Anyway, fast forward to me post relationship with Christ. I've discovered, just comparing and contrasting my experiences, that there's this profound peace when you lock onto God in prayer. Something about being able to bring all aspects of the small whisper we call life to Him, and then knowing that He hears you, reverberates deeply within. My prayers have not always had the answers I've been looking for. Often times, the answers to my prayers have been "wait." Yet the thing is, I've found the most peace by being completely honest with God and then saying nothing more. I don't have to smother God with religious jargon. I don't have to pretend like I understand everything. I can scream out "it hurts" and not say a word and it will be the most amazing experience just knowing I'm heard. Most profound, perhaps, is when you just sit there in silence, and exit the conversation filled with a sense of peace. It's difficult to explain.

So, to answer the question originally proposed, I guess I don't know what prayer looks like either. I know that all the images aforementioned are usually linked to prayer, but I guess I just had a bone to pick with how sadly limited the view of prayer was. I don't know.

It stems simply from praying for Glorie. I've never prayed for anything so seriously in my life. Perhaps God needed to teach me this lesson through the most excruciating of methods possible. Perhaps not. Nonetheless, I have a newfound respect for this conversation we're allowed.