What lies beneath

It's something everyone knows, but doesn't pay attention to.

There's greater danger present than what one may first perceive. This has been an important lesson for me because it reinforces the principle that I must continue to be aware that there's always more at stake than what seems obvious.

This occurred again yesterday. I went to go play flag football with some compadres. Said hombres I have a connection with due to my friendship with one Miss K. Sure enough, when I go to the game yesterday good ol' porcupine was right there. I'm unsure why she was there (maybe to support the guys?) but it surfaced again this tension between us. Not a word was exchanged between us.

Anyway, this simply goes to show that there's still so much inside of me that needs reform. For with all the maturing I have gone through the past several months, there's an extremely high amount of pride when it comes to certain aspects of my life. Yesterday, I desired very much to sit down on the grass next to Kristy and just talk with her and catch up on her life. But, it's so important to me to really rub it in that if she "just wants space" then I'm going to give her all the bloody space she can handle. It's coming at the expense of the relationship, but it's what she wants.

The problem is, I am in no way demonstrating any kind of love toward Kristy. My whole "this is what you get for acting this way" mentality does nothing to benefit me or her. Some council of mine will point out that a hard line stance like this is necessary due to the nature of the relationship, but ehh.

This I do know, no one wins when the tension remains. One person has to humble themselves to take steps to restore the friendship. I just feel like maybe I want the friendship too much and she doesn't want it at all.