Ever feel like you're just running away?

At times, I find my self running. I find myself especially running away from the Lord. No, not a physical kind of running. Rather, a mental kind of running.

I only find myself in this precarious position when I have done something bad. It's become somewhat of a repeatable process.

Do the bad thing.
Feel really guilty about it.
Discontinue anything "good" that I used to do before.
Continue sulking.
Sink even deeper into a pool of melancholy.

The situation progressively worsens until I finally get the wisdom to simply reconcile my relationship with Jesus.

Looking at it now, I believe that this running comes from a distoreted view of God. Instead of the loving God, I view the judging God. The one who sits atop His celestial throne and waits till I do something wrong so that He can point the finger of accusation at me. Who the balls would want to face a God like that?

It's a good thing that the bible doesn't confirm any of this misconception. The bible actually goes into a paradoxical kind of explanation at the true nature of God. I've been able to most identify with the way it's presented in Hosea. In the story, Hosea gets cheated on by his wife multiple times. Despite this, his love never wavers for her. Despite the fact that it hurts every single time, he continues to love.
The analogy is perfectly obvious. We are the bride of Christ. Everytime we sin, we hurt Him. It's as if it's the equivalent of cheating in a marriage. How absolutely devastated would the victim be? How absolutely profound would it be if the victim chose to forgive and continue the relationship? Notice how I didn't say forgive and forget, though. No...rather the past does not get brought up again. Forgiveness settles in and the Love conquers and embodied bitterness that may have been harbored by the victim.

That's really interesting. The question now is how then shall I respond.