It's been a year.
And I still have so much to learn.
The only thing I think I've wrapped my mind around is: God.
God in my laughing.
God in my weeping.
God in my bitterness.
God in my frustration.
God in my ecstasy.
God in my curiosity.
God in my dreaming.
Yes, all of those but more simple. The fact that God is, well, God.
The compelling thing about believing God, if He is who He claims Himself to be, is that He is the most faithful person in the entire world. As such, I have learned (and relearned) that there is no satisfaction or joy that comes apart from Him.
Much of my maligned faith this year has been from a wildly incorrect perception that I would all of a sudden be so much happier once "the situation" was finally resolved. In other words, once there was true reconciliation between me and the Santos family, I believed that there would be some glorious restoration between my joy and my life.
But I'm starting to believe that even if that were to happen, there still wouldn't be some surreal joy in my life.
No, that must come from the Joygiver in the first place. And, I've discovered that joy is not always easily found. In fact, it can be incredibly tumultuous just trying to procure it amidst the infinite darkness.
But it's there. And man is it worth it.
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