grace grace

It's been a strange 48 hours.

Sunday is what started it all. It began when John Ortberg (a man I've been kind of "eh" about before) talked at my church. He basically recycled the talk he gave to all the small group leaders from saturday but whatever. The message was important nonetheless. God created everyone to play a very unique purpose. People shouldn't try and do things to "get close to God." Rather, people should discover who God made them to be SO THAT the relationship they have with God will naturally develop itself. It doesn't really just unravel all by itself but his premise is solid. I'm reading his book and it seems interesting enough so yeah.

Afterward was my tennis match. Tennis has been a really fickle part of my life. With a great addiction in the summertime with it settling down to an enjoyable hobby of late. I joined an ALTA team and was doing a regular match. However something about sunday seemed kind of off. We ended up losing (something I'm still kinda frustrated with but w/e). But I ended up learning a few things.

The first thing is that obviously I won't win every match. This was kind of hard for me to swallow because I never even lost a set up to this point. And frankly, I could probably beat everyone I played if it was a straight singles match. But humility has a strange way of saying "peek-a-boo!" and showing yet again how much I need to humble myself. My response should simply be that of honoring those I played with and honoring God with my effort--win or lose. Matt Stover did this in the superbowl by pointing at the sky even after he missed his FG. It was kind of confirmation that no matter what happens God gets glory.

Another thing is that I could really be more supportive of Terri. She didn't have the greatest of games and I could tell that her confidence started changing throughout the course of the match. I tried encouraging her but she just kind of dismissed it. It's tricky talking to a partner in doubles. Some words could have great effect and others none at all. I kept trying to plant seeds and I kept my confidence in her but I guess nothing was getting through. After the loss I wanted to just give her a hug and just way that I was happy we tried hard but I knew how badly we both wanted to win. I didn't want to trivialize that. But I just couldn't do anything.

Which leads to the last thing I learned about the match. Despite how much potential talent and gifting I have...I have to come to a discovery where I can't be everything and do everything for everyone. It's quite unnerving because I can figure a lot of things out. But even if I can find an answer...it doesn't mean I can execute. And that's what happened here. I knew that mentally Terri's confidence was out of whack--but what could I do about it? Despite my altruism, this may have been something that she has to go through so that she can emerge a stronger player. It's kind of dumb when you think about it. It's like intentionally taking a step back in order to take two steps forward. Doesn't make any sense to me but it may be authentic progress for someone else. Go figure.

In fitting fashion, my day ended (literally) with a smash. I was parked in a parking lot when a woman, conveniently backing her BMW X5 out while on her cell phone, decided it would be a great idea for her back bumper to meet my right rear tail light.

I still don't know why she thought it would be wise to back her car up without first evaluating whether or not it would be remotely possible for a car to be in an adjacent parking space. Some people are just weird?

I surveyed the situation and looked at her when my face decided to communicate the expression "..really..?" involuntarily. She couldn't muster the nerve to look at me in the face. Then, as she communed with her Korean cohorts, they assessed the damage and deliberated what would be an acceptable amount to pawn off a "kid" like me. Educated in this ordeal, I stated that I was well aware of what my rights were and what I legally had the right to obtain. Then my friend decided it would be all the more hilarious to notify them that he was indeed korean and could understand every word they were saying. I was already PO'd that I was missing the super bowl. This was just kind of adding insult to injury.

But then out of nowhere I was reminded of how much grace I have been shown. And I realized this was an opportunity to show her the same.

I could have called the police for an official report (I didn't).
I could have filed a claim with the insurance company disregarding the woman's situation (she already got into an accident less than a month ago and it had been causing conflict in their marriage) so I didn't.
I could have not been reasonable at all (I didn't).

Instead I just kind of worked with her at her level and we'll see how it goes. It's kind of weird because I don't feel any better than her just because I'm being nice to her. But, my sincere hope is that she'll see the compassion someone paid to her and reciprocate it for someone else.

Cause that's what someone did to me. And look what a difference that has made.