weekend writings

Finally some time to process.

I was able to play musical chairs with the shift scheduling. It took some pulling of strings and some repaying of favors owed to me, but when it came down to it I got it done. It was kind of weird. But it kind of validated the notion that all it takes is a few phone calls and some creative finagling to get something accomplished. It really is all about who you know.

I ended up riding with Captain Teri down to the tennis match. She was a hot mess because she was nervous. Then I said "dood will you chill? You're even making me nervous and I'm as cool as they come." It made her laugh. Then she wasn't so anxious. Good first sign.

I anticipated the match to come down to line 5 and sure enough I was right. Vivian and I won our match. Matt and Terri lost theirs (this surprised me). David and Hong won theirs (no surprise) and Teri/Matt got killed (this was the biggest "whattttt!!?>"). So it came down to Kristy and Thomas.

They ended up going to three sets where they lost. It was awful. Both teams were tied 3-3 when all four people started tensing up like crazy. Part of what made K/T so good was Thomas was real aggressive at the net. But, in his tightening up, he started playing very conservative. Then the other team started attacking Kristy and it caused her to make errors. Eventually she made the set clinching unforced error.

Then that look on her face that I'll never forget.

It was the most polarizing image of disappointment. The personification of crestfallen. It looked like she felt like she let everyone down and was so sad she couldn't pull through.

But I couldn't have been anymore proud.

She played so well. Hitting very solid groundstrokes all over the place. Then even at the net her skills were tested and flourished when she finally just let go and just reacted. She even had some killer volleys! I was so happy for her. I would've given anything to just hug her in that moment. It would've been the only way for me to let her know that she had nothing to be ashamed of.

I feel like inside, she knew she played her best and she knew she should hold her head up high. But any sort of affirmation would have gone such a long way for her. And, in fairness, everyone on our team did such a great job doing such afterward. Everyone hugged Kristy and Thomas and our whole team just came together with positivity in the end. It was awesome.

I hugged Kristy and everyone else. It was special to me. Still.







Then sunday came.

I was doing west cameras and thought I was doing some straight up professional work. Then the director changed all that. He didn't like anything I was doing. I couldn't understand why but it was what it was.

I had two options--do whatever I wanted and just keep going or just do whatever he wanted despite how menial the requirements were. I chose the latter even though it was like pulling teeth.

Eventually I realized that sometimes what makes you grow as a person is a willingness to simply obey. Even when you know better or are straight up better than someone else, giving them the grace of obedience goes a long way.

Hopefully this seed will bear fruit at some point in the future.



Then I played tennis for 4 hours today.