Saturday Morning Thoughts

I swear I am the most stubborn creature on this planet.

Lately, I've been on a little cloud of "I'm better than you." It's curious though. This arrogant mindset is not something that I intentionally do. Rather, it's more of a subtle, discovering-how-prideful-I-am-after-the-fact kind of aura.

For instance, I was at a local video game store doing some of my regular game purchasing. Eager to showcase my financial prowess, I never fail to use some sort of combination of coupons to acquire my beloved games for as little as possible.
My cashier, perhaps unfamiliar with my radical money saving methods, had trouble inputting all of my discounts correctly. When she totaled my transaction, I found a mistake. I contested that she didn't do her job. She insisted that she did.

I turned on my vicious, I-am-determined-not-to-lose-an-argument switch. I didn't berate her or anything, but I took this stupid matter of proving that I was right to a personal level. In the end, I got the extra 10% discount, but I really lost the opportunity to demonstrate patience and gentleness.

Saving money is in no way a bad thing. However, in this particular instance it came at the expense of someone else's feelings. Because in my pursuit to get what I wanted, I, by proxy, put someone else down to do so. And what was my ultimate payoff? About $2.13.

I felt convicted immediately upon my drive home. For as all I sing/say/do about how Christian I am, I had a golden opportunity to showcase what Christ is really all about and failed--miserably.

I don't think Jesus would've been glib were He in my situation. As if He would casually say, "Oh you did do all the discounts already? That sounds wonderful. I will go and enjoy my previously purchased wii titles now." That's fake Jesus.

Rather, I think Jesus, in His benevolence, would realize quickly if saving some extra money would be worth the long term payoff of sparking intrigue in the God of the universe. If losing an extra 10% means, at the very least, perhaps just planting a seed for long term curiosity, then the payoff is well worth it. But I didn't think so. Cause I wanted what pleased me.

Humility isn't about valuing yourself or your ideals any less; it's simply being more mindful of others' need more than your own.