Focus

It looks like I've found myself at the bottom of the hill again.

Rats. This is a problem considering I thought I made real progress going back uphill. Oh well. I guess it's just more for me to learn right?

I wrote Glorie this super long email yesterday (and when I say super long, I mean SUPER DUPER long). Laced within this email was all kinds of emotion and hurt and all this gumbo. The aim was to be completely transparent with her, so that I would be given some sort of closure and not feel like I was still holding back.

Anyway, the overall sentiment came off as me being somewhat of a hurt person because...well...I'm hurting. I just don't feel like she cares about me you know?

Her response?

Not one time did she said she did care about me. Oh and the other guy in the picture is very much still in her picture. So much so that I'm probably out of the picture.

Hence me being at the bottom again. I'm hurting so bad right now it's not even funny.

But it's ok.

I sincerely pray that He would give me the maturity and the genuine love to be able to support Glorie especially when I'm so weak. For when I'm weak, He is strong.

I kind of parallel what I'm going through to a fruit. It's only when you squeeze fruit the hardest that you truly get to see what it's made of. If it's sweet, then truly something miraculous was going on in the indside all of this time. If what comes out is bitter, then all it was in the first place was a pretty face.

With that said, I'm more than confident that I'm being molded to be something truly sweet.

Let the character building begin, Jesus. I am broken.