There is a reason why "don't judge a book by its cover" has been echoed for generations.
The logic is simple; you never know the entirety of anything if you only read into surface level qualities of said noun. This is true with literature because a truly enchanting story could legitimately be waiting behind one of the most hideous covers created. The saying also applies to food (i.e. gumbo). Et cetera.
Even though everyone knows this applies to people as well, it seems to be easily forgotten when people form their first impressions of people they don't know. I am guilty of this as well especially when it comes to people who wear specific types of clothes (because seriously...when's the last time you saw a 'gangsta' guy wear Hollister?).
Recently this issue has been pressed to my face. Further, the question has unraveled to "do I even have to read the book just because the cover is interesting?"
Life is weird and so are women.
Saturday, December 04, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
The spirit of gratefulness
I had the joy of sitting down with John Ott this morning.
We talked about various things obviously but eventually it whittled down to a very specific question that he asked. "Fred, what do you think made your time at Starbucks so fruitful?"
I thought about it for a moment.
"Being at Starbucks helped to show just how much pride I had inside of me."
I didn't realize it at the time, but a lot of my pride came for straight up ungratefulness. I had a good family, good health, and few obligations but all I kept thinking about was how crappy my job was and how porcupine kept playing games with me. It was only when I was cognizant of this that I reached a point of true humility. It was after my heart was in that place that God could begin construction on my new foundation.
This is noteworthy because John started sharing with me that because it's a lesson that's been so deeply ingrained in me, it is something I'll be able to identify with scintillating precision in other people. And the more I explored that thought, the more I've found it to be true.
Being human, it's appropriate to feel frustrated or lonely or forgotten when times get really tough. But the difference with someone who is grateful and someone who isn't is that there's a spirit of peace and a spirit of "these circumstances will not deter my perspective"
And these people stick out.
And they're the people you're grateful for.
Because their gratefulness is inspiring.
We talked about various things obviously but eventually it whittled down to a very specific question that he asked. "Fred, what do you think made your time at Starbucks so fruitful?"
I thought about it for a moment.
"Being at Starbucks helped to show just how much pride I had inside of me."
I didn't realize it at the time, but a lot of my pride came for straight up ungratefulness. I had a good family, good health, and few obligations but all I kept thinking about was how crappy my job was and how porcupine kept playing games with me. It was only when I was cognizant of this that I reached a point of true humility. It was after my heart was in that place that God could begin construction on my new foundation.
This is noteworthy because John started sharing with me that because it's a lesson that's been so deeply ingrained in me, it is something I'll be able to identify with scintillating precision in other people. And the more I explored that thought, the more I've found it to be true.
Being human, it's appropriate to feel frustrated or lonely or forgotten when times get really tough. But the difference with someone who is grateful and someone who isn't is that there's a spirit of peace and a spirit of "these circumstances will not deter my perspective"
And these people stick out.
And they're the people you're grateful for.
Because their gratefulness is inspiring.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
petting porcupines
So I got to see special K again tonight.
I always wondered what it would feel like. I'm sure I came off as kind of rude because I immediately turned my head so that I wouldn't face her. Oh wells. Seeing her again though made me think about where I am with all this. Especially with her birthday coming up and all.
Frankly, I still don't know how we ended up on non-talking terms. My story is that she asked me to not talk to her. She'll probably say that she never wanted me to not talk to her [irony] yet that she wanted space. I'll respond by saying I gave her space. I'm not sure how she would respond to that. Probably something along the lines of our friendship just gradually changed.
Personally, I do miss her. More than anything I miss just learning about her. Learning all the intricacies that make her her. This isn't a very unique thing as it's a facet of a relationship that I would say is true with many of my friends, but she's different because of a value I've placed on her. While that value has diminished given our lack of communication, I must say that if we had a friendship I would still value it.
Yet, one thing that I've learned to accept is that I really cannot control the future. Regardless of how altruistic and sincere my desires are, there's a lot that are just out of my control. I want so badly for the my story to include a reconciliation with Kristy; I want very very badly for her to all of a sudden to just be like "you know I think I'll take the first step to say to Fred that I'd like to start brand new with a friendship and to just settle the past once and for all."
But I'm slowly reaching the point where the fact that any of those desires NOT coming true is equally satisfying. Not because I want them any less, but because I'm slowly yielding more to the fact that I don't have to be in control of everything--especially in this situation. If this story turns out awesome and we become very good friends again then I'll be ecstatic. But if all of the seeds that I planted turn out to be for not and I'm just fooling myself all this time then I honestly think I'll be ok with that.
Because I'm giving up the pen to this story. And simply going to enjoy the book.
I always wondered what it would feel like. I'm sure I came off as kind of rude because I immediately turned my head so that I wouldn't face her. Oh wells. Seeing her again though made me think about where I am with all this. Especially with her birthday coming up and all.
Frankly, I still don't know how we ended up on non-talking terms. My story is that she asked me to not talk to her. She'll probably say that she never wanted me to not talk to her [irony] yet that she wanted space. I'll respond by saying I gave her space. I'm not sure how she would respond to that. Probably something along the lines of our friendship just gradually changed.
Personally, I do miss her. More than anything I miss just learning about her. Learning all the intricacies that make her her. This isn't a very unique thing as it's a facet of a relationship that I would say is true with many of my friends, but she's different because of a value I've placed on her. While that value has diminished given our lack of communication, I must say that if we had a friendship I would still value it.
Yet, one thing that I've learned to accept is that I really cannot control the future. Regardless of how altruistic and sincere my desires are, there's a lot that are just out of my control. I want so badly for the my story to include a reconciliation with Kristy; I want very very badly for her to all of a sudden to just be like "you know I think I'll take the first step to say to Fred that I'd like to start brand new with a friendship and to just settle the past once and for all."
But I'm slowly reaching the point where the fact that any of those desires NOT coming true is equally satisfying. Not because I want them any less, but because I'm slowly yielding more to the fact that I don't have to be in control of everything--especially in this situation. If this story turns out awesome and we become very good friends again then I'll be ecstatic. But if all of the seeds that I planted turn out to be for not and I'm just fooling myself all this time then I honestly think I'll be ok with that.
Because I'm giving up the pen to this story. And simply going to enjoy the book.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
time value of investment
When you're sick, there's the people who say "aww I hope you feel better" and then there are the people that go over to your house with soup and watch a DVD with you.
Everyone wants the second friend. But, how many people actually take the time BEING the second friend? Every now and then we have to be prepared to allow other people to completely unload all of their burdens in transparency. And the best thing to do is to just sit, listen, and be there.
I had the joy of doing this tonight. It's part of what makes life that much richer.
Everyone wants the second friend. But, how many people actually take the time BEING the second friend? Every now and then we have to be prepared to allow other people to completely unload all of their burdens in transparency. And the best thing to do is to just sit, listen, and be there.
I had the joy of doing this tonight. It's part of what makes life that much richer.
Thursday, November 04, 2010
oh em gee
I had a really crazy dream last night.
Generally I don't read too much into dreams or anything because it can just be so sketch. However yesterday is probably one of the most vivid exceptions I can ever recall. In essence, I dreamed that God was communicating to me. This should be alarming given that I'm very much part of the "God doesn't literally talk to people" bandwagon. I believe God reveals himself through a variety of ways. He reveals His character through reading the bible. He sets examples through other people. And sometimes circumstances will get thrown your way because a lesson needs to be taught. But I find it hard to believe that God literally calls out in a voice "hey Fred I want you to do [x]."
Then yesterday night happened.
I don't remember a whole lot of the dream but I do remember that I had some control over what I was doing. I remember that there was a big prophesy and that God was going to come back at a specific time (this isn't biblical by the way since we won't know when Jesus will come back). Anyway, I'm inside of a huge room where a whole bunch of people are gathered.
Anyone and everyone was there. Skeptics, celebrities, homeless, you name it they were there. The mathmeticians started writing on the wall and stuff different formulas (only to have other people erase their work away).
Finally the moment draws near.
Everyone was counting down with one minute remaining. Then it got down to the 10 second mark.
10..
9..
8..
7..
The clock hit the zero mark.
Nothing happened.
About 30 seconds passed and all the skeptics started gloating about everything.
Then suddenly it happened.
Everyone in the room was floating involuntarily. The room was shaking and there was vibrations felt within the bones of every living creature in the room. Everyone was literally speechless when all of a sudden all these math formulas were easily seen on the wall.
Then all you saw, in bright burning fire red-yellow, was the word "INFINITE."
I stayed glued to that word for maybe 5 seconds. Then everyone dropped back down and things seemingly got back to normal. I woke up and couldn't stop thinking about how appropriate that word is for God.
And I haven't stopped thinking ever since about why God would allow me to have such a crazy dream.
Generally I don't read too much into dreams or anything because it can just be so sketch. However yesterday is probably one of the most vivid exceptions I can ever recall. In essence, I dreamed that God was communicating to me. This should be alarming given that I'm very much part of the "God doesn't literally talk to people" bandwagon. I believe God reveals himself through a variety of ways. He reveals His character through reading the bible. He sets examples through other people. And sometimes circumstances will get thrown your way because a lesson needs to be taught. But I find it hard to believe that God literally calls out in a voice "hey Fred I want you to do [x]."
Then yesterday night happened.
I don't remember a whole lot of the dream but I do remember that I had some control over what I was doing. I remember that there was a big prophesy and that God was going to come back at a specific time (this isn't biblical by the way since we won't know when Jesus will come back). Anyway, I'm inside of a huge room where a whole bunch of people are gathered.
Anyone and everyone was there. Skeptics, celebrities, homeless, you name it they were there. The mathmeticians started writing on the wall and stuff different formulas (only to have other people erase their work away).
Finally the moment draws near.
Everyone was counting down with one minute remaining. Then it got down to the 10 second mark.
10..
9..
8..
7..
The clock hit the zero mark.
Nothing happened.
About 30 seconds passed and all the skeptics started gloating about everything.
Then suddenly it happened.
Everyone in the room was floating involuntarily. The room was shaking and there was vibrations felt within the bones of every living creature in the room. Everyone was literally speechless when all of a sudden all these math formulas were easily seen on the wall.
Then all you saw, in bright burning fire red-yellow, was the word "INFINITE."
I stayed glued to that word for maybe 5 seconds. Then everyone dropped back down and things seemingly got back to normal. I woke up and couldn't stop thinking about how appropriate that word is for God.
And I haven't stopped thinking ever since about why God would allow me to have such a crazy dream.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
What your life is worth
When you die, what will people say about you?
No not the things they'll say at your funeral. Everyone's much too PC for that.
But, you know, the things people will say when they reminisce.
The crazy thing is we have the ability to shape the things that people will say....
now.
No not the things they'll say at your funeral. Everyone's much too PC for that.
But, you know, the things people will say when they reminisce.
The crazy thing is we have the ability to shape the things that people will say....
now.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
being ok with it
- some people took shots at me today cause I like Disney.
- some of my family were bothered by the fact that I wasn't bothered that I'm not in a serious relationship.
- a lot of people I meet look at me weird when I say I don't really go clubbing or what not.
- I'd rather read than drink.
- I like stars.
- I don't think Katy Perry is attractive inside or out.
- I rinse and repeat.
- I've been rejected more times than I can remember.
- My legs are really hairy.
This is a window of all the things I think make me weird. And on days like today I wish I were more normal. Who doesn't like being popular? Who doesn't want to be accepted?
What I am learning is that when you accept how God made you it isn't necessarily being all "antiestablishment"; rather, it's very simply a joy in discovering all the intricacies that make you you.
- some of my family were bothered by the fact that I wasn't bothered that I'm not in a serious relationship.
- a lot of people I meet look at me weird when I say I don't really go clubbing or what not.
- I'd rather read than drink.
- I like stars.
- I don't think Katy Perry is attractive inside or out.
- I rinse and repeat.
- I've been rejected more times than I can remember.
- My legs are really hairy.
This is a window of all the things I think make me weird. And on days like today I wish I were more normal. Who doesn't like being popular? Who doesn't want to be accepted?
What I am learning is that when you accept how God made you it isn't necessarily being all "antiestablishment"; rather, it's very simply a joy in discovering all the intricacies that make you you.
Monday, October 11, 2010
it strikes again
I finally updated my facebook yesterday.
It had been several months since my last update (we're talking like 4 months). One of the things I was able to do was finally become "friends" with my cousin. I was also suggested to become "friends" with my sister. Given that these are two people that are family, it would be reasonable to believe that this should've been done much much earlier. But there's reason why this hadn't taken place.
There's a "past" with both of these people. That is, somewhere along the way there was a falling out in the lives of both of these people to either me or other people in the family. As a result, there are lingering hurt feelings and a seemingly perpetual elephant in the room. Never truly reconciled, issues are never brought up for fear that it would incite conflict.
The thing is, the "past" is perfectly legitimate. Both my cousin and my sister have every right to make the decisions they did and I don't fault either one of them for doing so. However, there have been repercussions and many relationships have been altered as a result.
The reason this is noteworthy is because it brings to the forefront a very important observation I've been able to make. One of the reasons God is so big on treating other people with love/respect is because the long term effects of a fallout are so detrimental. In other words, relationships can be very fragile and if not cared for properly they will crack (and even shatter). This isn't to say that things can't be rebuilt--in fact, a mosaic of countless shattered pieces is often viewed superior to a one piece artwork. But it is saying that once altered it will never again be the same.
When we revere one another the relationships are likely to stay that much healthier.
It had been several months since my last update (we're talking like 4 months). One of the things I was able to do was finally become "friends" with my cousin. I was also suggested to become "friends" with my sister. Given that these are two people that are family, it would be reasonable to believe that this should've been done much much earlier. But there's reason why this hadn't taken place.
There's a "past" with both of these people. That is, somewhere along the way there was a falling out in the lives of both of these people to either me or other people in the family. As a result, there are lingering hurt feelings and a seemingly perpetual elephant in the room. Never truly reconciled, issues are never brought up for fear that it would incite conflict.
The thing is, the "past" is perfectly legitimate. Both my cousin and my sister have every right to make the decisions they did and I don't fault either one of them for doing so. However, there have been repercussions and many relationships have been altered as a result.
The reason this is noteworthy is because it brings to the forefront a very important observation I've been able to make. One of the reasons God is so big on treating other people with love/respect is because the long term effects of a fallout are so detrimental. In other words, relationships can be very fragile and if not cared for properly they will crack (and even shatter). This isn't to say that things can't be rebuilt--in fact, a mosaic of countless shattered pieces is often viewed superior to a one piece artwork. But it is saying that once altered it will never again be the same.
When we revere one another the relationships are likely to stay that much healthier.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
life sentence
It was such a joy going to TLR yesterday.
We had a guest speaker who basically discussed the wisdom in living life intentionally. One of his talking points captured me and I haven't really been the same ever since.
His argument was that in the end, once we're long dead, our life will be summarized in one sentence. That is, everything we've ever done and everything we've ever lived for, whether we like it or not, will be captured in a sentence. For instance:
- George Washington was the father of our country.
- Harry Truman dropped the atomic bomb.
- Rosa Parks refused to move to the back.
- Lady Gaga...well I don't even want to go there.
Anyway this concept was leveraged to draw attention to the fact that our lives are worth something. After all, who wants to be remembered as "Best Tequila Drinker" or "Most awesome money spender"? This isn't to naysay anyone who likes tequila or spending money. But it is a challenge to evaluate whether or not those things are worth devoting one's life to.
As I started exploring this thought, I started to wonder why people don't take this more seriously. It's reasonable to believe that everyone wants to be remembered for something good...but why don't people take greater initiative...doing good? Shouldn't those things be logical?
For me, I tried to remember what have I done that leaves any sort of thumbprint in anyone's life--and I couldn't think of anything. Talk about fail.
But then, Gracefully, I started to recall that within this quirky collection of personality is this innate desire to simply be sincere. And, for those who have been run over by it, apparently it's something else.
Anyway, the speaker closed by saying the main difference between people who are deemed great and those who would be consider "nobody" is simply the fact that great people do great things.
So what am I doing great today?
We had a guest speaker who basically discussed the wisdom in living life intentionally. One of his talking points captured me and I haven't really been the same ever since.
His argument was that in the end, once we're long dead, our life will be summarized in one sentence. That is, everything we've ever done and everything we've ever lived for, whether we like it or not, will be captured in a sentence. For instance:
- George Washington was the father of our country.
- Harry Truman dropped the atomic bomb.
- Rosa Parks refused to move to the back.
- Lady Gaga...well I don't even want to go there.
Anyway this concept was leveraged to draw attention to the fact that our lives are worth something. After all, who wants to be remembered as "Best Tequila Drinker" or "Most awesome money spender"? This isn't to naysay anyone who likes tequila or spending money. But it is a challenge to evaluate whether or not those things are worth devoting one's life to.
As I started exploring this thought, I started to wonder why people don't take this more seriously. It's reasonable to believe that everyone wants to be remembered for something good...but why don't people take greater initiative...doing good? Shouldn't those things be logical?
For me, I tried to remember what have I done that leaves any sort of thumbprint in anyone's life--and I couldn't think of anything. Talk about fail.
But then, Gracefully, I started to recall that within this quirky collection of personality is this innate desire to simply be sincere. And, for those who have been run over by it, apparently it's something else.
Anyway, the speaker closed by saying the main difference between people who are deemed great and those who would be consider "nobody" is simply the fact that great people do great things.
So what am I doing great today?
Thursday, September 23, 2010
wide angle lenses
One of the most enjoyable things about my new job are the people that I work with.
One of the guys, Jeremy, has one of the most colorful personalities ever. He's quite intelligent yet has a very great mix of charisma that makes him both a joy to talk to and to work with. Jeremy, like me, is also quite into numbers.
This is important because the other day, while we were having lunch, we started talking about the gross uneven distribution of wealth at our company. Recently there was an initiative to raise extra capital for the company but along with that extra capital came a way for members of the executive team to also find ways to make an incredible amount of money. We're talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Jeremy just wanted in on some of the action. He admits pretty freely that he is quite satisfied with how much he is getting paid, but would LOVE to have got in on the overnight wealthy train the e-team was riding [for the record these guys make MUCH more than little peasant fred; whose salary, extrapolated, would be standard entry-level 30k+].
I'm writing all of this down because a very important thought emerged from this casual conversation. I was left thinking..."where does that come from anyway?" In other words, everyone would love to have more money (even those with a lot of money), but where does that desire for more come from? Is it innate? Is it learned from culture? Is it uniquely American?
This train of thought becomes especially dangerous because there quickly reaches a point where someone can discipline their own appetite; that is, the "I want" slowly transforms into an "I need" and the implications are devastating. Every bad verb feasibly occurs after this transformation.
Not always of course. And very rarely does it happen overnight. But, just like a cancer, the appetite grows until it starts to wholly consume everything that's in its path. Tragic.
How does one set up safeties to guard against this?
Perspective change.
Specifically when the focus shifts from this life to more than this life.
One of the guys, Jeremy, has one of the most colorful personalities ever. He's quite intelligent yet has a very great mix of charisma that makes him both a joy to talk to and to work with. Jeremy, like me, is also quite into numbers.
This is important because the other day, while we were having lunch, we started talking about the gross uneven distribution of wealth at our company. Recently there was an initiative to raise extra capital for the company but along with that extra capital came a way for members of the executive team to also find ways to make an incredible amount of money. We're talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Jeremy just wanted in on some of the action. He admits pretty freely that he is quite satisfied with how much he is getting paid, but would LOVE to have got in on the overnight wealthy train the e-team was riding [for the record these guys make MUCH more than little peasant fred; whose salary, extrapolated, would be standard entry-level 30k+].
I'm writing all of this down because a very important thought emerged from this casual conversation. I was left thinking..."where does that come from anyway?" In other words, everyone would love to have more money (even those with a lot of money), but where does that desire for more come from? Is it innate? Is it learned from culture? Is it uniquely American?
This train of thought becomes especially dangerous because there quickly reaches a point where someone can discipline their own appetite; that is, the "I want" slowly transforms into an "I need" and the implications are devastating. Every bad verb feasibly occurs after this transformation.
Not always of course. And very rarely does it happen overnight. But, just like a cancer, the appetite grows until it starts to wholly consume everything that's in its path. Tragic.
How does one set up safeties to guard against this?
Perspective change.
Specifically when the focus shifts from this life to more than this life.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Sunday Night Thoughts
It's been quite a long day.
Although I really love serving at my church, I'm quickly approaching the point where I think I'm beginning to get burned out. I've been up since 6 AM this morning (had to be at buckhead at 6:30 AM) and am still here. I was able to see my falcons completely demolish the cardinals in between but that's neither here nor there (;
One thing I found myself thinking about today was what life was all about anyway. Andy was teaching out of the book of ecclesiastes today and obviously it had me thinking in that direction. If you've never read the bible or don't really believe any of it, ecclesiastes is a really interesting book that can be read by itself; it's basically a collection of parting thoughts as a great king sees the end of his life is near. The main thesis in the book is that everything in life doesn't really amount to anything; rather the collection of life, as we know it here, seems to point to something/someone much more eternal.
For me, believing in God makes the most sense because life seems way too uneven.
- People who study hard in school end up with low paying jobs while those who cheat are making money hand over fist.
- Individuals get promoted based on favor and appeal (and often times under the table agreements) rather than based on work merit.
- Infidelity.
- Financial misfortune for those who have been faithful while fortune awaits the corrupt.
- Drunk drivers take the most innocent of children while molesters live to see more than a century's worth of history.
And yet, in much the same way it doesn't make sense that all of these things exist seemingly going unreconciled, one of the main tenets of Christianity fixates on this unevenness; it's essentially the reason Christians are able to distinguish themselves as children of God. Truly understanding how radical that concept is is what fuels much of my faith to persevere through said unevenness of life.
Anywho as I sit writing this I can't help but think about the direction my life is taking. After all, the value in understanding a principle is completely in the application right?
Yum.
Although I really love serving at my church, I'm quickly approaching the point where I think I'm beginning to get burned out. I've been up since 6 AM this morning (had to be at buckhead at 6:30 AM) and am still here. I was able to see my falcons completely demolish the cardinals in between but that's neither here nor there (;
One thing I found myself thinking about today was what life was all about anyway. Andy was teaching out of the book of ecclesiastes today and obviously it had me thinking in that direction. If you've never read the bible or don't really believe any of it, ecclesiastes is a really interesting book that can be read by itself; it's basically a collection of parting thoughts as a great king sees the end of his life is near. The main thesis in the book is that everything in life doesn't really amount to anything; rather the collection of life, as we know it here, seems to point to something/someone much more eternal.
For me, believing in God makes the most sense because life seems way too uneven.
- People who study hard in school end up with low paying jobs while those who cheat are making money hand over fist.
- Individuals get promoted based on favor and appeal (and often times under the table agreements) rather than based on work merit.
- Infidelity.
- Financial misfortune for those who have been faithful while fortune awaits the corrupt.
- Drunk drivers take the most innocent of children while molesters live to see more than a century's worth of history.
And yet, in much the same way it doesn't make sense that all of these things exist seemingly going unreconciled, one of the main tenets of Christianity fixates on this unevenness; it's essentially the reason Christians are able to distinguish themselves as children of God. Truly understanding how radical that concept is is what fuels much of my faith to persevere through said unevenness of life.
Anywho as I sit writing this I can't help but think about the direction my life is taking. After all, the value in understanding a principle is completely in the application right?
Yum.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
the other end of relationships
I had a chance to meet up with a former colleague today at Starbucks.
I've never really known this person too well. We've always been pretty casual acquaintances at best but nothing too great. For some reason today he decided to confide in me.
I discovered that lately he's been having a "sex buddy" relationship with an asian girl. They talked about how the sex was great and that whenever they hung out it was awesome. He went into detail about how he found her at the perfect time because she had freshly decided that she was going to start rebelling against her parents (and thus the promiscuity I suppose).
He went on to state that he was starting to develop feelings for her and that she was doing the same. However, when he swung for the fences and asked her out, she told him that they could never be an item. In her culture, unless she dates someone of the same nationality, it would be a very big problem for her family.
He was stunned obviously and didn't really know what to do. I told him that what she said was really truthful and that I respect her for being straight up instead of leading him on.
Anyway, the reason this is noteworthy to me is that I was really surprised by how this guy didn't see it coming at all. When a relationship begins with the physical aspect, the foundation is built on something incredibly uncertain. Now, I don't want to pretend like I'm some relational mastermind (I couldn't attract a fly right now), but I have had enough that I can form some conclusions.
1) The best relationships really are ones that are based on solid friendship. These are the least awkward because there's a natural building of trust that only compounds.
2) The relationships that last are the ones where each person truly looks out for the other. This is way easier said than done. After all, everyone always thinks they're right and it's so difficult to intentionally be humble yourself for the other person--especially when they're clearly the one at fault.
3) All relationships are best evaluated based on the direction that they're headed; not where they're currently at.
For whatever it's worth, I truly hope that this relationship ends up with some resolution. Either they'll have to stop having sex or they'll end up hating each other. Unless of course they learn to love one another such that their devotion to one another is unquestionably strong. It is only then that the girl's family will no longer view him as an American; but rather as a son.
Love wins every single time.
I've never really known this person too well. We've always been pretty casual acquaintances at best but nothing too great. For some reason today he decided to confide in me.
I discovered that lately he's been having a "sex buddy" relationship with an asian girl. They talked about how the sex was great and that whenever they hung out it was awesome. He went into detail about how he found her at the perfect time because she had freshly decided that she was going to start rebelling against her parents (and thus the promiscuity I suppose).
He went on to state that he was starting to develop feelings for her and that she was doing the same. However, when he swung for the fences and asked her out, she told him that they could never be an item. In her culture, unless she dates someone of the same nationality, it would be a very big problem for her family.
He was stunned obviously and didn't really know what to do. I told him that what she said was really truthful and that I respect her for being straight up instead of leading him on.
Anyway, the reason this is noteworthy to me is that I was really surprised by how this guy didn't see it coming at all. When a relationship begins with the physical aspect, the foundation is built on something incredibly uncertain. Now, I don't want to pretend like I'm some relational mastermind (I couldn't attract a fly right now), but I have had enough that I can form some conclusions.
1) The best relationships really are ones that are based on solid friendship. These are the least awkward because there's a natural building of trust that only compounds.
2) The relationships that last are the ones where each person truly looks out for the other. This is way easier said than done. After all, everyone always thinks they're right and it's so difficult to intentionally be humble yourself for the other person--especially when they're clearly the one at fault.
3) All relationships are best evaluated based on the direction that they're headed; not where they're currently at.
For whatever it's worth, I truly hope that this relationship ends up with some resolution. Either they'll have to stop having sex or they'll end up hating each other. Unless of course they learn to love one another such that their devotion to one another is unquestionably strong. It is only then that the girl's family will no longer view him as an American; but rather as a son.
Love wins every single time.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Sunday Night Thoughts
Today I had the responsibility for filming 4 different church services.
It's been quite the ride. My day started at 6 AM and was still continuing past 6 PM--at a church. I didn't feel overly creative with any of my shots; I just kind of did what seemed natural. One thing happened today that I really can't stop thinking about. It was from Andy of course but he just kind of spoke spontaneously this morning and it so thoroughly piqued my interest.
Anyway, here it is:
Think about the person you love most. Anyone in the world you love more than anything/anyone else. Think about how much you love them.
Is it possible that God loves you more than you love your most treasured person? Is it possible for God to be capable of loving even more than us?
What would our life look like if we really believed that answer was yes?
Wow.
It's been quite the ride. My day started at 6 AM and was still continuing past 6 PM--at a church. I didn't feel overly creative with any of my shots; I just kind of did what seemed natural. One thing happened today that I really can't stop thinking about. It was from Andy of course but he just kind of spoke spontaneously this morning and it so thoroughly piqued my interest.
Anyway, here it is:
Think about the person you love most. Anyone in the world you love more than anything/anyone else. Think about how much you love them.
Is it possible that God loves you more than you love your most treasured person? Is it possible for God to be capable of loving even more than us?
What would our life look like if we really believed that answer was yes?
Wow.
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
Monday, September 06, 2010
Re-thinking Tunica
Waiting at the smallest airport I've ever been to to ride the smallest planes I've ever seen to leave one of the smallest cities I've ever visited.
It's been quite a ride.
This trip had been planned for quite some time now and there was much excitement leading up to the trip. A large majority of my family would be here. It would be great. Yet I remained apprehensive because I'm not one for casinos or gambling in general. But I persisted with open expectations.
The whole concept of casinos in general continues to impress me.
[I just looked over to y left and I saw a cockroach walking by the dead carcass of a grasshopper. Awesome.]
If ever there was a concentration of everything tempting in life it would be in casinos. Anyone who loves food would love casinos. There are buffets overflowing with delicious food everywhere you go. It was incredible. If money is more your thang the sky is limitless when it comes to unearned potential. Entertainment never ceases as there are scantily clad women everywhere as well as live bands wherever you go.
Yet, everynight as I casually strolled through each casino I was filled with a profound sense of concern. The people that fill these places are all searching for something...but do they know what it is they're searching for? Fun. Money. Happiness. A good time. Whatever. Are casinos where they're really found?
I ate my hearts content and even won a few dollars. But everytime I would "hit big" I would never be quite satisfied. Taking hand after hand was really great...but it's never quite enough.
I only wonder if everyone who mindlessly kept pressing "repeat bet" at the slot machines felt the same thing? Who knows.
As I await for them to call my number here at the airport I can't help but think about how much potential there is for me to return here one day--except with a different Purpose.
It's been quite a ride.
This trip had been planned for quite some time now and there was much excitement leading up to the trip. A large majority of my family would be here. It would be great. Yet I remained apprehensive because I'm not one for casinos or gambling in general. But I persisted with open expectations.
The whole concept of casinos in general continues to impress me.
[I just looked over to y left and I saw a cockroach walking by the dead carcass of a grasshopper. Awesome.]
If ever there was a concentration of everything tempting in life it would be in casinos. Anyone who loves food would love casinos. There are buffets overflowing with delicious food everywhere you go. It was incredible. If money is more your thang the sky is limitless when it comes to unearned potential. Entertainment never ceases as there are scantily clad women everywhere as well as live bands wherever you go.
Yet, everynight as I casually strolled through each casino I was filled with a profound sense of concern. The people that fill these places are all searching for something...but do they know what it is they're searching for? Fun. Money. Happiness. A good time. Whatever. Are casinos where they're really found?
I ate my hearts content and even won a few dollars. But everytime I would "hit big" I would never be quite satisfied. Taking hand after hand was really great...but it's never quite enough.
I only wonder if everyone who mindlessly kept pressing "repeat bet" at the slot machines felt the same thing? Who knows.
As I await for them to call my number here at the airport I can't help but think about how much potential there is for me to return here one day--except with a different Purpose.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
what being there looks like
If there's one thing that I've learned, it's that there are certain people who are truly one of a kind.
These are the rare breed who have an unmistakeable allure about them. Never quite pretentious but always quite genuine there is an undeniable attractiveness that comes with the package.
It's not a learned attitude either. It's really quite the opposite; nonchalance dilly dallying and doing whatever seems like a good idea is often a trademark of these people as well.
One item of note, however, is that there is something common that they do that the vast majority of people simply do not. Everyone recognizes that one great friend is more precious than ten average friends but no one ever considers what makes a person "great."
I am completely convinced that part of the makeup of the greatness is the willingness to spend time with another person.
You see, spending time with someone is one of the dearest ways you can shower intimacy on that person. It communicates, whether voluntary or involuntary, that your life is worth something so huge to them that they're willing to carve time for you.
That's radical!
This is why I'm being more intentional about meeting with people. I want to foster rich relationships so that I can cut all the pretense from my life. Hopefully the seeds that get planted because of these meetings will pay a huge dividend somewhere.
Perhaps.
These are the rare breed who have an unmistakeable allure about them. Never quite pretentious but always quite genuine there is an undeniable attractiveness that comes with the package.
It's not a learned attitude either. It's really quite the opposite; nonchalance dilly dallying and doing whatever seems like a good idea is often a trademark of these people as well.
One item of note, however, is that there is something common that they do that the vast majority of people simply do not. Everyone recognizes that one great friend is more precious than ten average friends but no one ever considers what makes a person "great."
I am completely convinced that part of the makeup of the greatness is the willingness to spend time with another person.
You see, spending time with someone is one of the dearest ways you can shower intimacy on that person. It communicates, whether voluntary or involuntary, that your life is worth something so huge to them that they're willing to carve time for you.
That's radical!
This is why I'm being more intentional about meeting with people. I want to foster rich relationships so that I can cut all the pretense from my life. Hopefully the seeds that get planted because of these meetings will pay a huge dividend somewhere.
Perhaps.
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