Not really sure what to say...not much has changed I suppose. The only thing worth mentioning is the conversation(s) I had yesterday with my speedway mates.
Apparently, it's becoming quite evident that I like Alicia. Something about the way I always spend time with her or something about the way I act around her during work or something like that. I hope that we continue to be friends though. Just good ol' best friends. Those are the kinds of relationships that are worth it. Alicia is the same way. I don't want to force a romantic relationship or anything. I just kind of want it to go the way the Lord wants it to go. After all, I don't want to root any of my joy or hapiness in Alicia; only in the Lord. This is not to imply that I DON'T find hapiness in Alicia (which is certainly not the case). Yet the thing is I don't want to fall into the trap of finding my joy IN her.
Several of my co-workers think that I should make a move. I suppose that they give me this ill-motived "advice" because they think that the singular thing I'm concerned about is getting inside of her pants. It was weird telling them that having sex with Alicia isn't my motive. They all thought I was crazy. Funny thing is after our conversation, I was the one that ended up feeling sorry for them.
"Nice guys finish last" you say? Then what would it mean to finish first? To take advantage of girls? To reduce them to the equivalent of a slab of steak--meant only to fulfill our selfish pleasures whenever we get horny? Is getting intoxicated truly the way to live life? Inebriated with alcohol in a vain attempt to plug the gaping emptiness that bellows and consumes us underneath it all? Then when it's all said and done, the reward are merely "good" stories to be able to tell to others down the road that will perhaps impress someone new later in life. The process repeats and the emptiness grows.
Screw that.
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