Hanging on by a thread

It stings.

Really deep pain.

I thought I'd never experience this again?

Who goes through rock bottom again? There's a reason it's called rock bottom.

I kind of feel like Job. But hearing that sentence makes me realize how ridiculous I am. My pain is nothing compared to Jobs (or Jesus' for that matter).

Yet, I still feel pain. Won't you just enlighten me Lord?
Are my questions that foolish to you? When I say "why?" does it really waste Your time that much to answer me?

I know the answer. I'm not entitled to a response from You. Trying to explain Your ways to me would be the equivalent of relating Galactic astronomy to a chocolate chip cookie.

But it still hurts.

That video burned images into my brain. The support is surreal. But there's that one picture. Centered to her right. he was holding her hand instead of me. Much less, it appears as though I don't exist right now.

I feel rejected.

Of all people, my family would hurt me.





Merciful Jesus...I need your rescue badly.