1:23 A.M.

It's so frustrating.
Everything...literally everything reminds me of her.
I hung out with Mike and Case today. They talked about planning another trip like the ski trip. The ski trip was one of my favorite memories of us; as it was for her.
I saw Cloverfield. Obviously every cheesy love story will remind me of her.
I went to Mar and Mandy's house today. Matt and Kelvin were there. I remember so clearly when we all ate at house of blues to celebrate her birthday.

I wonder what she's doing right now.
I wonder what she's dreaming about.
I wonder what's going on in her life.
Does she remember the movement she's a part of? Does she recall the God she's dedicated her life to? Does she remember casting vision for the potential in my life just as I did her? Does she recollect the vision she had for her group? Does she remember how brightly she shines? Does she consider how her life is impacting others? Does she remember her life at all?
I only want to encourage her.
I want to spur her memory and remind her of how strong she was and still is.
I want to challenge her to become the beautiful woman that she was on track to becoming.
I want to show her, in my own creative way, that I haven't stopped praying/supporting her.
I want her to know that she has much life to live.
I want her to know that she has many lives to impact.
I want to pray with her.
I want to tell her how much she's [still] cared for by me and my family.
I want to tell her that she's loved very, very dearly.

But I can't.
And it's ridiculous that I can't.
I was told to yield because it was "their time."
Yet it's no longer their time.
They aren't even an item.
So what's the hold up?
Why would they continue to filter me out of her life?

Have I not shown myself to be faithful to her ever since the beginning?
Have I not prayed just as hard as any single person involved in this situation for her life?
Have I not proved myself to likewise desire what's best for Glorie?
Is it that farfetched to believe that I could be a catalyst for Glorie's recovery?
Am I not among the few who truly know her on a profound level?
Does that not count?







I miss you Glorie.

You're so important to me.