Friday Night Thoughts

I've had over a day to sit and kind of marinade with everything.

It originally began about two weeks ago. She was noticeably guarded when she talked about everything. The conclusion was easy to draw: either she didn't trust me with the simplest of information or she was intentionally denying me information. Either way it marked a difference in the relationship.

I started to think, though, why Kat Kat wouldn't tell me about anything. It's not that she is obligated to by any means. No...I'm not required an explanation or a notice. However, I feel personally betrayed because my trust in her was such that I thought she would be one that was extremely loyal to me. Id est, I always believed that she would be one of the ones looking out for my best interest.

Naturally I sent Kat Kat a text message. It was semi inquisitive and semi taking a shot at her (basically very cynical tone all the way around). The response was that she was never sure that she was going anyway and that it was kind of a last minute thing. Fast forward two weeks and the exact same scenario occurs. Same text message gets sent but now the response was more along the lines of "well I didn't think I needed to tell you and we were just planning on it but never sure."

The reason this whole ordeal has been upsetting to me is because it gives insight to what could be a very tragic situation. My intent, both times, was simply to be able to pass something along to Glorieanne in a very personal way. After all, I'm in the business of relationship building here and this is one that is of particular importance to me. Therefore, every single chance I have to improve upon the situation is an opportunity that I will not hesitate to pursue.

All of this said, I am in full realization that the world doesn't revolve around me. Kat Kat is in no way my own personal mail carrier. Nor is she my personal arbitrator between Glorie and me. She very much lives her own life that is 100% independent of mine.

However, she does know just how special Glorie is to me. And she would know completely joyful I would be if there were but a message I could pass along to Glow via Kat Kat. And, being one of my better friends and (much more) a sister Believer, it was my expectation that she would provide some consideration for my behalf in that regard.

Yet I suppose my expectations were just set too high.

The truth ended up being that one of Kat Kat's friends has an interest in Glorieanne. An interest that is very much reciprocated.

This isn't altogether a bad thing. But it does provide a platform to show where Kat Kat's alliances were. Would it be for me? Or would it be for her husband's best friend? Soon enough a lot of cliche rhetoric will follow. How no one was trying to facilitate anything and that "things just started happening" or some BS along those lines.

But when it comes down to it, the fact is that Glorie is very much into Mr. Kat Kat's best friend; and that's the the interest that Kat Kat decided to protect. After all, the fact that he was accompanying the both of them on both occasions gave some incentive to withhold that precious piece of information from me. It would have been so valuable if Kat Kat had gone the extra measure of saying something as simple as, "Fred...you're my friend and because I value your friendship I just want to be honest with you. Even though things aren't final yet I may go down to see Glorie." Something along those lines.

Alas, what position am I in to even be considered? I will be looked at as the jealous ex boyfriend (again) and the vision I have for restoration will diminish little by little (again). At least Glorie was forward with me.

I guess this is just another batch of wonder to add to the pile of tension that I'm trying to remove. I just never thought one of my better friends would be among those who would contribute to it.